I’m writing this on my laptop for the first time in quite a while, though I am still doing it at the bus stop. I’m using the laptop because I’ve been getting significant stiffness and pain in the carpometacarpal and metacarpophalangeal joints in my thumbs. The right is worse than left, but it’s symmetrical enough that I’m fairly sure it’s from my phone, since I use both hands to write on that. So, I’m giving them a break (but hopefully not a fracture).
I know, it’s all so exciting, isn’t it? Just wait until I write a blog post about watching paint dry. You’ll barely be able to contain yourself.
Oh, right, I forgot to note that today is February 1st, the first day of the second month of 2023. It’s time to pay rent and other bills, and then, only twenty-eight days later, it will be time to pay rent and other bills yet again.
Time flies when you’re having…I don’t know, certainly not fun, but when you’re just grinding through each day with absolutely nothing that’s of any interest or importance happening, and with only stressful things happening at work. Or, well, the only things of note at work are stressful. For instance, we had two of our most prominent employees leave this week under dicey circumstances; by that I mean, they’re probably now going to go on either to be arrested or to overdose or to go back into rehab. My boss is very forgiving, at least, but there’s only so many games of Russian roulette they can play before they get a loaded chamber. Nature doesn’t tend to make exceptions.
As for everything else, well, I still haven’t figured out how to check the poll results from my story poll. I’m not sure anyone has responded or even noticed, other than a family member. I don’t mean to disparage family. Cat forbid! I’m very glad that some of my family members read this. But I’m not sure if more than two or three people (two of them family) ever actually read all the way through any of my blog posts.
Maybe what I should do is, sometime later this week, find one of those samples of pseudo-Latin writing that looks like normal paragraphs and copy and paste it after one or two short introductory sentences, and at the end leave an exhortation to comment but not to “like” if you have seen or recognized the nonsense.
That seems like a lot of work, though, so I probably won’t do it. But it is frustrating to wonder how many people actually read my blog, even among the ones that “like” it. Not that I want to discourage the likers! I enjoy the little hit of reward that generates as much as anyone.
It’s interesting, also, to see new likes for older posts, some of them getting into quite high number counts (for me, anyway). I have to think that those, at least, really must be among my more enjoyable posts. One of my most popular ones is the one where I announced that I was going to be beginning to write The Dark Fairy and the Desperado, in which I included quite a few of the illustrations that I’ve included in the posting of the story itself.
But I still don’t have any real feedback on ongoing writing, or on whether or which story I should continue to, or start to, write. I suppose that’s just as well, since right now, I don’t feel much creative impulse at all. I haven’t played guitar more than twice this whole year, short though it has been. I have occasionally thought of short story ideas as one or more curious little event impinged on my awareness, and I interpreted it in my usual, bizarre fashion, similar to what I described yesterday about things like “Deerfield”. But none of the ideas stuck in my head, and I certainly didn’t write any of them down.
I haven’t even copied my old “notebook” entry in which I had jotted down lots of story ideas into my new phone. It’s still just in an email I sent to myself when I got the new phone.
I’m circling the drain, anyway, orbiting just outside the event horizon of a black hole. It must be a large one, because though the tidal forces are palpable, and are quite uncomfortable, they haven’t spaghettified me yet. I can look out and see—because of gravitational time dilation—all the lives of the people around me proceeding speedily, with some perceptual distortion but otherwise normally, while I’m just slowly creeping through time, every second lasting an eternity on the scale of the outside world, with less and less chance of ever escaping, and greater and greater difficulty interacting in any real way with any of the people in the outer universe.
I don’t know when something will nudge me over the horizon, but the singularity awaits, and it ain’t the one Kurtzweil envisioned. I wonder what it will be like. I probably will never know; that’s the irony of such things.
Anyway, I’ve reached what should be the end of my first draft, and it’s definitely been faster, or wordier, than it would have been via the phone. I’m not sure if readers can discern any difference, other than the fancy quotation marks that Word automatically applies, and which get copied and pasted to WordPress when I do the copying and pasting, but which don’t appear when writing directly on WordPress or through Google Docs. It’s not really important, though I do like the fancy quotation marks.
Any comments—about this blog entry, or about previous topics, or about anything remotely related to this blog—would be welcome. And do feel free to “like” and share.
Oh, and with that in mind, why not listen to some of my music, which is on YouTube, but also on Spotify, iTunes, and so on. I would like not to be the only one who ever listens to it. It’s not great stuff, but it’s not too bad, either. Given that it’s all done by me, and recorded using USB mics, and mixed using the free program Audacity, I think the songs came out pretty well. Except for the keyboards*, I had to teach myself how to do everything I did in them, and I had no studio, just the back room of an office** and a bedroom.
I’m probably tilting at windmills, but whatever. It doesn’t really matter. Who knows how much further I’ll go on? It’s already truly felt like the longest time***.
*I took piano lessons starting when I was about nine years old, so I already knew how to play piano.
**You can see it in my videos of me playing guitar and singing and so on. That’s where I work.
***This is a very oblique reference to the Billy Joel song The Longest Time.