Well, it’s Friday, after a foreshortened week (for me) but I still feel exhausted.  I’m scheduled to work tomorrow, but I’m not sure whether or not we will open the office; there don’t seem to be that many people who are going to be there, and apparently last week only one person showed up.  We shall see.  For business purposes, I hope we do well; for rest purposes, I hope we stay closed; and for my purposes…well, I have no useful purpose, so I just want to go to sleep and stay that way.

Today I have my autism assessment at around lunch time, and I’m at least a bit nervous.  I don’t enjoy meeting new people at the best of times*, but I think this is important.  I filled out all the paperwork and whatnot, which took quite a while for one of the portions, and there was another form my sister filled out, though I don’t know the contents thereof.

I honestly don’t know what to expect.  I also don’t know for sure what effect the results will have on me, positive or negative (meaning the “test result” not its effect on me, though that is certainly important).

Meanwhile, I’m trying to do a little promotion of my work via the various social media on which I have more recently become “active”, though that’s a relative term, of course.  I’m also rereading some of my books, just to try to see if there’s any hope at all of getting back to writing fiction.  If people actually showed any interest in it or shared it or read any of it, it would be a lot easier to be enthusiastic.  I just recently finished The Chasm and the Collision, which I still think is quite a good “fantasy” adventure**.  And now I’m rereading Son of Man, which I’m liking a lot again.  It’s an oddly intimate story, given the stakes involved in it.

I really wish I could get word out about my books to more people.  I really think there are plenty of readers who might enjoy them.  I think they’re pretty good stories, and they are pretty well written.

I also think my music is decent.  I know the production quality isn’t up to professional standards, but then again, I recorded the stuff using USB mics and practice amps and whatnot in the back storage room off the office, and I mixed it using free software that I had to figure out as I went along.  Considering that, I think my music is pretty good.

Anyway, if anyone reading this has any kind of following and is interested, it’d be great if you could share the links I share to this, and to my books and my music and so on.  I know I don’t have any right to ask for such things, but if the mood strikes you, it would be greatly appreciated.

It’s very weird to me that this blog is probably the most popular thing that I do.  I of course make no income from it.  I suppose I could set up a Patreon account and try to make money that way, but it’s hard for me to imagine someone paying to read this blog.  Also, I don’t have any idea what extra benefits I would give to Patreon supporters.

It probably all is just a series of exercises in even short-term futility, let alone accomplishing anything durable.  The world will little note nor long remember my words or my existence.  Even my kids would not notice much if I were to disappear at this very instant.  It certainly would have no significant impact on their futures.

“All is vanity” as is proclaimed in Ecclesiastes***.  Or as the Buddha said of a particularly painful kidney stone, “this too shall pass”.

I know, that’s a stupid joke.  But I’m a stupid person, so I guess it’s par for the course.

Anyway, I hope you have a good day today.  If I go to work tomorrow, I will probably write a post.  If not, I almost certainly shall not.  But no matter what, I hope you all have a good weekend.

*Well, at average times, anyway.  I’m not even sure what “the best of times” means for me.  I suspect that, at such a time, I would be at my best, and meeting new people would be unthreatening or at least easily tolerable.

**I’ve said it many times before, CatC is technically science fiction, since nothing that happens in it is “supernatural” in character.

***See, I’ve read the Bible, parts of it even in Hebrew, unlike most of the IgnoraMaga people who are nominally Christian nationalists, a flagrantly non-historical movement that relies upon the idiocy of millions of under informed people.