It’s Tuesday morning, and this is my first post of the week‒which I guess is not so bad, since a few weeks ago I had said I might not write any more at all.  I’m not sure why I am still writing, other than simply as a matter of habit, which tends to be strong with me.  Perhaps that really is the only reason.

I was not out “sick” yesterday in any traditional sense, but was instead out with a severe exacerbation of pain in a slightly unusual distribution: left foot, knee, and hip/iliosacral areas in addition to a bad flare up in my back.  Every kind of movement was painful for me, so I mainly just laid around taking aspirin and Aleve and Tylenol and trying to give my body a break.  It’s a bit better now, though by no means ideal.

I fear this pain was because of riding my new bike, even though I didn’t ride it very far or very long over the weekend, and it felt okay while I was riding it.  That latter bit is typical, though.  Things that trigger exacerbations often don’t do so right there at the moment.  They take time to build up and catch one by surprise, so one is never quite sure what the real cause of the flare-up is.

For instance, a cold front came in over the course of Sunday afternoon, and the temperature dropped by nearly thirty degrees (Fahrenheit) by Monday morning.  That brought it down to about 50, which is quite chilly for south Florida.  That may have contributed to the increased pain, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the main cause.

I did at least get a bit of rest yesterday, napping whenever I could, which is nice.  But I’m quite frustrated to get pain flare-ups from riding the bike.  It’s very discouraging.  I was hoping the bike would give me more freedom of movement, not less.

I did get to talk to my daughter on the phone on Sunday.  We’d been planning to talk for a few weeks but stuff kept getting in the way on her end, but finally she was able to call me yesterday.  It was very nice.  I hadn’t heard her voice in about 8 years or so, and it has changed, since she was a teenager the last time we spoke.  We had a nice conversation, at least for me.  She seemed to be enjoying herself, also, but one can never easily be sure, especially when someone is talking to me.

Also, I spoke to my sister last night, but it hasn’t been nearly as long since I last spoke to her‒about a week, in this case.  We had a nice conversation, though, as always.  As for everything else, well…there is nothing else, really.  I haven’t written any new fiction or played any music or drawn any pictures or anything else of value.

I’m taking an Uber to the office because it’s still pretty painful to move and I want to keep it to a minimum.  It’s also hard on the bases of my thumbs, writing this in the back seat using my smartphone, but I don’t know what else to do about that.

Honestly, I don’t know what to do about much of anything.  I’m still very much at a loss about life in general.  I still haven’t been able to bring myself to look into health insurance.  I don’t have any future plans, really.  I’m basically empty‒except for pain, obviously, but I already mentioned that.

I also have a lot of free-floating anger a lot of the time, I guess that’s something.  At least, it is if you like being angry.  I never really have enjoyed it, though; it makes me feel guilty, even if I don’t act on it.  It’s not pleasant.  Maybe I should learn to embrace it, and all that.  At least it’s slightly energizing, temporarily.

Oh, well.  It doesn’t matter, I guess.  I’m not sure that anything does matter.  I guess that’s all a matter of perspective, so to speak.

That’s it for today.  Try to have a good one, if you can.