[When I started writing this, I had completely forgotten that it was Rosh Hashanah today. I figured I’d at least make the title give a reference to it, though it doesn’t have anything to do with the post, nor am I going to celebrate it, since I am not part of any community or family that does so anymore. I also added the 10th Doctor GIF about the New Year, since it’s a shame not to waste it, even though it’s a day late.]
Just in case anyone was worried (though that seems unlikely) I ended up not working this last Saturday, and that was the reason I didn’t write a blog post. I’m not dead or anything*.
I’m writing this post on my phone, today, but it’s not because there’s anything wrong with my laptop. It’s just that the first train of the morning is delayed due to mechanical trouble–of course it is–and so the benches that have usually been emptied by that train’s arrival are overfilled, and I’m standing to wait. It’s hard to use a laptop when one’s lap is in vertical mode.
I may actually wait for my “usual” train to arrive rather than getting on the late one, because delayed trains tend to be more crowded, as they pick up some early passengers from the next train. And, for similar reasons, the trains that follow are often relatively less crowded than usual. That’s a nice thing to enjoy, and it’s not as though I’m cutting it close on time.
As you may know, I always go to work early–very early–in the morning, because I can’t sleep anyway. This weekend, I didn’t work, and I took 2 Benadryl before bed both Friday and Saturday nights. It doesn’t completely stop me from waking up early, but it usually lets me go back to sleep when I do. I can tell by the effects on my mental acuity that it’s not really doing me good overall, but at least my body gets a bit of rest, which doesn’t happen most other nights.
I’m really starting to get tired of doing this blog; at least I feel that way right now. I began writing the Thursday posts, initially, as a way to connect with potential readers of my books, to talk about my fiction writing, and potentially to promote it. As far as I can tell, it has had none of those effects, or at least they have been negligible.
I’m not really socially adept enough to use Facebook or Twitter for self promotion, though I have tried, and I don’t have the money to buy promotions for my posts or to advertise using the Amazon algorithm. As far as I can tell, thanks to the way these automatic “auctions” for advertising go, I’m effectively just flushing money down the toilet on the occasions when I’ve paid for promotions.
There are networks of mutually promoting authors on Twitter and other “social” media, but they are all far more pro-social than I am from what I can tell. I can’t even schmooze online. I get embarrassed when I leave comments on other blogs and on YouTube videos let alone trying to talk myself up to strangers. More and more, I feel embarrassed even when talking to people I’ve known for years, or for my entire life. I always feel like I’m such a weirdo and a dork.
As for these now-daily, or semi-daily posts, they were meant to be an experiment that was hopefully going to be useful for my mental health, or at the very least to act as a “cry for help”. I think we can all tell just how wonderfully they’ve fulfilled either or both of those functions (not at all, in case that’s not clear). I would laugh maniacally if I had that skill, and if I were not in the train.
I did get on the train, by the way, because it looks like they simply cancelled the previous one and ran the one I ride at its usual time. This is despite the fact that the announcement said that the earlier train was just running 15 to 20 minutes late, which turns out to have been either a deliberate lie or an idiotic error. I’m not sure which is better. Probably neither. I think it would be nice if the world had a greater preponderance of non-idiotic, non-mistaken non-lies. They seem so few and far between.
Oh, I did mean to say, I at least got some useful walking in this weekend. On Saturday I walked for about one and three quarters hours, and on Sunday for almost exactly two hours. So, about 5-ish miles on Saturday and 6 on Sunday. I’m actually rather stiff today because of it, but I’ve got to get into training if I’m going to go on an epic journey. Bilbo and Frodo, though both were affluent hobbits, nevertheless were active, going on regular, long walks all the time. So the sudden beginning of their lengthy quests was mainly felt in their decreased food intake, and of course, their exposure to deadly danger. I won’t be so foolish as to say that sounds like fun, but at least it wouldn’t be meaningless and dreary and lonely…not for very long, anyway.
And there’s one true thing (at least one) about walking instead of riding or driving, and that is that you take in much more of the details of your surroundings. Our ancestors all walked pretty much all the time. Our bodies are built for it, more or less. Yet the modern world has turned our natural mode into an inconvenience or a luxury. That doesn’t seem like a recipe for good outcomes, all else being equal**.
Well, then…it’s hard for me to judge the length of my writing when I’m doing it on the phone, but this amount feels good enough for right now. I’ll spare any dedicated readers the chore of dealing with more of my imbecilic thoughts, especially since you might have thought you were off the hook completely and for good when I didn’t write on Saturday. No such luck for you, yet! But don’t worry, that time is surely coming, and hopefully it won’t be long.
*Whether that’s good news or bad news depends on the recipient and his or her point of view, and also on my mood. I veer between feeling it to be just neutral or frankly bad news.
**Which all else never is, to be fair.