I really don’t feel well today, either mentally or physically, so please excuse me if this post is sub par.  I would probably not even go to work today if it weren’t payroll day (Wednesday) but it is.  So, I am going to the office, but I don’t know if I’ll stay there the whole day.  If I still feel as wiped by the time I’m done with payroll‒and I usually feel more wiped at such a time‒then I will probably go back to the house.

Some of what’s causing me trouble is the new soreness and pain in my right forearm up to my elbow.  It’s some form of connective tissue inflammation, I’m nearly sure, but it’s not clear what the cause is.  I sort of hyperflexed my right wrist‒under my whole weight‒several weeks ago, but to my surprise, that didn’t even hurt the next day.  It’s not impossible for this to be some delayed, accumulated damage/inflammation, but it would be strange to have had no symptoms in between.  Still, that’s the only concrete and direct potential cause of which I am aware.

Whatever the case, even picking up lightweight things with my right hand is painful, and that’s frustrating because one thing I’m not uncomfortable saying about myself is that I’m pretty strong.  I do under- and overhand pull ups and dips as my main upper-body workout.  But there were certainly no pull-ups this morning.

Of course, I have most of my usual pains‒my back hasn’t stopped hurting for two decades, so there’s no reason to think it would stop now‒including the arthralgia in the base of my thumbs.  Nevertheless, this week I’ve been writing my posts on my smartphone because carrying the lapcom feels too daunting.

My apologies; I doubt that anyone reads this blog merely to follow my litany of physical and psychological complaints.

I honestly don’t know why anyone in particular reads anything I write.  I appreciate it, of course.  Thank you.  But I don’t understand it very well.  If I didn’t have to interact with myself, I wouldn’t.

Actually, I guess I can understand why someone might read my fiction.  Many people like reading sci-fi, fantasy, and horror stories, and I’m at least willing to admit that I like my own stories, so it’s not insane that someone else might.  I actually know three people who have read at least some of my (published) stories and enjoyed them, and one of them‒my sister‒is still alive (I don’t think liking my stories is what killed the other two, but it is a rather disheartening coincidence).

But this blog is strange.  That’s not surprising in and of itself; this is me we’re discussing here (or at least I am).  I just don’t know what it is that appeals to people about this.  I’m glad that it does, but I don’t get it.  While I do often (well…occasionally, anyway) go back and reread some of my fiction, I don’t know that I have ever gone back to reread any of my old blog posts.

If anyone reading has done that, I’d be interested to know what motivated it, and whether it was a good experience.  Heck, if you think you’ve thereby learned any useful information about me that I might not already know, please, lay it on me.  After all, they say knowledge is power, but it’s much, much better than that‒knowledge is knowledge, which is better than power.  When you acquire knowledge, you take part of the universe into yourself without diminishing that which you internalize.

Well, okay, acquiring knowledge does increase the overall entropy of the universe, but at a very low rate considering what is gained.  Anyway, everything increases the overall entropy of the universe, because that’s what the mathematics requires.  I wrote a post on Iterations of Zero about that once.  If I can find it without much trouble, I’ll put a link to it.

Okay‒[shakes head metaphorically to try to clear it]‒I think I’m going to wrap this up.  My brain is really fatigued, and it’s only very early in the morning.  Actually, presumably the rest of my body is also fatigued‒it certainly feels fatigued.  But I only feel the rest of my body via my brain, so it’s all sort of redundant and recursive and self-referential filter.  I guess that’s a bit like this blog.

Anyway, have a good day, please.  Thank you.