Well, there’s no new portion of a story to post here today, but I did write some yesterday on The Dark Fairy and the Desperado—about 1100 words. That’s the first bit I’ve written since the 800 words I mentioned last week.
I also went into the office yesterday, because we were open for part of the day. It was a thoroughgoing waste of time and effort, and I already wasn’t feeling well (I’d stayed home from work sick on Friday, and I was not feeling much better yesterday…come to think of it, I still don’t feel great). Almost no one seemed to want to work, and those who did were interrupted and interfered with by those who didn’t. And then, one infantile “coworker” let off a stink bomb or stink drops or something (near the one person who was trying to work, ha-ha…that would have been juvenile even back in grade school), flooding the office with a horrible smell on a day when we were having a bit of an office cookout, so people were going to be trying to eat there.
Yes, seriously, this all happened. I was very pissed off, because I had gone into the office despite still feeling sick to my stomach, and the stupid stink-bomb nonsense didn’t help me feel any better. Back at the house, one couple have been moving out of part of the house—they’re nice enough people, but they were horribly messy, even by my standards. When I’m messy, I keep it in my own space, I try hard not to mess up common areas. But now a transition is ongoing, and the property owner asked me to move into another room, though I’ve been living in the same room for almost five years. The other room is bigger, but that doesn’t automatically make it better. And I don’t like change much at the best of times.
I’ve also made a few videos, including one in which I read the Declaration of Independence out loud, which I’ll embed here, below. I suspected most Americans probably hadn’t read it in a long time, and many have probably never read it at all, so it was worth a bit of effort, even when I wasn’t feeling well.
I did another video earlier, last week, about science, and about learning about science, which I haven’t posted to YouTube yet. If and when I do, I’m sure I’ll embed it in some blog post here, as well. Why not? I’m not doing much of anything else that’s productive or valuable. Of course, that begs the question of whether doing such videos is productive or valuable either, but I guess that can only be learned after they’re done.
I’m not feeling well at all, however. This creeping crud is really doing a number on me, and that’s on top of my precarious mental state, which leaves me very easily irritated and also unable really to talk to anyone about the many issues that I have. I don’t really know what to do. I know what I want to do, but that want is not unadulterated. If it were, I would simply do it. Although, frankly, I don’t think right now I’m physically up to anything taxing. I feel so beat up. I guess I’ll have to wait a bit on that, no matter what.
I don’t really know what to do. The wind is going out of nearly all of my sails, and I don’t have a big enough stock of provisions to endure if the sea is becalmed for too long*. Maybe instead of trying to write fiction every morning, for a while I should just try to write a blog post every day, including my regular Thursday blog post. I have a couple of files in my note-taking app full of what I call “article” ideas, and it’s not as though there isn’t plenty of nonsense in the world that might be worth discussing. There are many topics on which I have thoughts, judgements, and opinions, and even some matters on which I am an expert.
Maybe I could do this as a sort of therapy—a kind of pseudo-Freudian free-association daily blog. Who knows? At one point, I considered writing a memoir/autobiography, and I even had a title planned for it (A Most Stormy Life, taken from the Poe poem Alone, which is one of my favorites), but that feels just so pompous. Plus, I don’t think my life is all that interesting. It’s had interesting and gripping moments, of course, but surely that’s the case for everyone. But I had long since planned, or considered, to share various random thoughts on Iterations of Zero, my other blog. I was going to constrain this blog to deal primarily with my fiction writing and related matters, but it’s veered gradually at least part of the way away from that, and I have far more people following this blog than the other one**.
Well, these are just some thoughts that I’ve had. I suppose, if I make another post tomorrow, you’ll know that I decided, at least for the time being, to write and post something every day.
In closing now I’ll tell you a little about the very weird dream/nightmare I had last night. As is often the case in my (rare) nightmares, I ended up becoming irritably, grouchily defiant toward the forces of evil (embodied in some manner of building/complex/zone that seemed to have a malicious mind and will, and which did not want to let us leave) that were victimizing or at least tormenting me and some other people. As is also often the case, the form this defiance took in the dream was related to the fact that I had to go to the bathroom, and after making a horrible-sounding, shouted demand*** that I think I must have said out loud, because it woke me up—my own voice sounded demented and weird and otherworldly, even to me—I discovered that I had to take a wicked pee.
At least I know I was well hydrated.
*To really brutalize a metaphor.
**Probably simply because I do regularly make posts on this one, but don’t do so on IoZ very often.
***The exact words were a repeated, “Do you understand?!?”