I don’t have the energy or will or “spoons” to write much today. I’m just about ready to tap out. My “executive function” is so low that I think the only thing I’m capable of executing is myself, and even that is difficult. I certainly don’t have the capacity to act to save myself. I keep trying to express just how fucking horrible I am doing, but I don’t think it’s coming across. I guess it doesn’t matter much.
Anyway, today I figure I’ll embed some songs I’ve recorded myself performing that do something to convey my difficulties. Some are originals, some are covers. I don’t know if they will work, either.
It doesn’t really matter. I don’t have the will to take any action about anything. I can only do what I do every day, automatically, and I am getting closer and closer to being unable to do even that. I think I’m pretty nearly completely out of gas, and I am basically only a burden to the world. It doesn’t help that we’re moving offices this month, which I hate, but that’s just a little insult to add to the injuries that are leading to the end of things.
Anyway, here are the songs.
It’s not a perfect expression or set of expressions, but it’s about all I’m capable of, even after a weekend “off”. It doesn’t matter. I’ve basically given up. I’m so tired already and it’s just Monday morning.
I hope you each have a great day, individually, and that you all have a great day, collectively.
