Well, I walked to the train again this morning.  I tried to dilly-dally, expecting to get to the station just after the 6:10 train had arrived and gone; I took it a little slower getting up and showered and dressed than usual.  However, as I walked along, not trying to be fast, after coming to the last turn before the station, I foolishly looked at the clock on my phone and saw that it was 6:04, and I was in striking distance of the station.

Now, a sane and well-adjusted person would probably choose, in light of that information, to slow down more, to stroll toward the station, to watch the 6:10 come and go and revel in the fact of being among the first people there waiting for the 6:30 train.  Such a person might even start writing a blog post in the 20 minutes before the next train was due to come.

Clearly‒as you probably already know‒I am not a sane and well-adjusted person.

I increased my pace and my stride length, and got to the train station crossing just as the lights began flashing.  I sprinted across the tracks before the gate came down and then up along the platform, tapped in with my train card, and was able to get on the train just as it came to a halt.  I was already sweaty, of course, so the sprint had little effect on that, and anyway, I brought deodorant spray to take the edge off.  I simply couldn’t force myself to let the train go, since it was possible for me to catch it.  I’m not happy about it, but I don’t seem to have much control over the situation.

I’m writing this on my phone again, by the way.  I didn’t even bother bringing the laptop with me yesterday, and I probably won’t bring it today, either.  I mean to keep doing this procedure:  walking in the morning before work, and deciding later in the day if I feel like walking on the way back.  I never should have thought about trying to get a bike, and I certainly shouldn’t be thinking of electric scooters or electric-assisted bikes or any such thing.  I don’t need to buy new things.  Indeed, I would say that I need not to buy new things.  Ever.  I wish I didn’t have to buy food, but that’s going to be a difficult habit to break.  One step at a time, so to speak.

I have tomorrow off; I won’t be writing a post, so you’ll get a bit of a reprieve, if you read my posts out of some sense of obligation.  I’m going to try to get up and walk in the morning nevertheless, though, because I really want to try to get used to longer and longer distances.  I hope to walk either until it kills me or until it corrects my depression.  Regular exercise is supposed to be good for depression, though it’s never really seemed to help me much; I had bad depression even when I was running six miles at a time.  But maybe it’ll make a difference this time.  Anyway, it would be nice to be a bit thinner when I die, at least, so it can help with that, at the very least.

Yesterday was a somewhat stressful day at work, because my coworker was out with back pain.  Thankfully it wasn’t particularly busy, though it was a decent day for business.  I worry about him not being there today.  I’m barely able to scrape by on any given day as it is.  I don’t think I can make it for too many days in a row with added work.  If he can’t come in tomorrow, I’m not going to fill in.  I’m just going to say “no”, which is unusual for me, but there it is.  If I get pressured into coming in, I don’t know if I’ll come in again after that, ever.  Sunday is “Father’s Day”, and that would be as good a day to die for me as any other, and better than the vast majority of them.

Anyway, I’m borrowing trouble, I guess.  I have no good reason to think my coworker won’t be there today or will ask me to fill in tomorrow.  In fact, it’s rather unlikely.

Oh, speaking of unlikely things, just this week I passed two milestones on the potential palindromic recording number path.  I passed them, but I did not actually achieve those milestones.  I missed them.  They were close together, because we were in the situation where the 4th digit was a 9, which would be palindromic only when the 5th digit is also 9, and then, of course, it soon rolls up to the 4th digit being 0, and the 5th digit is also 0 at that point.  So only the first and last 3 digits of the 8 digit number needed to line up (in reverse).  It didn’t happen, which is not surprising, of course.  Only once in 10,000 times will the last 4 digits be the reverse of the first 4.  I don’t expect to see it happen.

I also can’t tell anyone at work that I’m watching for it, or my coworker might pretend he had gotten such a number.  I don’t want to seem to get a personally chosen message to endure and have it be a lie.  That would really piss me off.

Anyway, enough of that.  My stop is coming up soon (in more ways than one).  I hope you all have a good weekend, and if you’re fortunate enough to have your father around, or to be a father who is loved and spends time with his family, please do enjoy your day Sunday.