Hello again and good morning again. It’s Thursday again, and so, once again, it’s time for my weekly blog post. Again.
I’m pleased to be able to report that I’ve done a bit of new writing this week. I finished rereading Outlaw’s Mind last Saturday, and then Monday morning I got my clipboard and some high-quality notebook paper, and I started to write. One thing that helped me do it was remembering my old strategy, which was to say to myself that I was going to write at least just one page. If I didn’t write more, that was fine. Even when writing by hand, one page isn’t all that much—something like four hundred to six hundred words, I think, given my handwriting.
As is usual, I’ve written more than that, totaling just around six pages in the last three days. That’s not as fast as I write when I type, which I can do almost at the speed of thought, but that may be beneficial. I think I sometimes tend to write too much when I type. Unanimity may be a good example—a story that became over half a million words long before I finished it. Probably, had I written it by hand, it would have been at least slightly shorter. But maybe not. I tried to shorten it as I was editing, but there were no actual bits of the story that I felt willing to take out.
I’ve been thinking about maybe putting some of Outlaw’s Mind up here on my blog, in its current, quite rough draft form, just to give a teaser and possibly to get reactions from people. I may have mentioned this notion before; I know I tend to repeat myself and run off at the keyboard. Anyway, I was thinking of posting the “cold opening”, as it were, first (I don’t think I’ve already done that, have I?). Of course, after that opening, the story goes very much back in time to tell of things that led up to the events in the opening.
If anyone would like me to do that, and would like to read it, please leave a comment here, on this post. Again, I reiterate, comments on Facebook or Twitter may never be seen (by me, anyway). I don’t often check even Twitter for reactions*, and Facebook gives me terrible stress and tension even to click in and zip through looking for comments and responses, as well as to see what people I care about are doing. I feel that, at any time, someone is going to ambush me with an instant message, and I won’t have any idea how to reply to it, and so I’ll quickly pretend that I didn’t see it, and try to remember to come back later, all the while feeling terribly guilty about not immediately taking part in a conversation—even though, morally at least, one shouldn’t feel obligated to talk at any given time, just because someone else wants to. But it’s hard when it’s people who matter to you.
This is one of the reasons I don’t answer my phone, and I don’t even promise to respond to voicemails (I say I will if it’s interesting enough, but that’s quite a high bar to clear).
Email is nicer. I tend to like email. And comments here are not too bad, because I’m always getting on WordPress for one reason or another (often to read other people’s blogs), and interactions are more measured, thoughtful, and in-depth. Usually. They are also not expected to take place in “real time”.
Anyway, that’s about it as far as my life goes. I do my fiction writing in the morning. I diddle around on the guitar for a short time after that most days, but as those of you who have seen my videos know, my playing and singing are nothing** to write home about.
I try to find fiction that I can enjoy reading, but it seems to get harder all the time—which is a truly dreadful thing, to me. At least I can usually find non-fiction that engages me, especially about science and a bit of math and philosophy, and to some degree psychology, especially about Asperger’s/Autism Spectrum Disorder, which I’m trying to learn much more about to confirm or deny my self-suspicions. I’m pretty well along toward the “confirm” end of the spectrum, if you’ll pardon the pun, but I am always leery of confirmation bias. As I once wrote on an altered version of the old X-files poster from Mulder’s office, “I don’t want to believe. I want to be convinced by evidence and argument.”
Anyway, I know that’s all boring, so I apologize. I never do have anything much of value to say or to do. I’m sure the oxygen (and nutrients) I consume could better be used elsewhere, and my carbon-compound contribution and other entropic effluvia merely push the universe—and more locally, the planet—toward its endpoint slightly more quickly.
The villainous part of me likes that. But the rest of me just feels ever-increasing self-loathing. It’s very amusing.
I hope you’re all doing reasonably well—or better yet, as well as you possibly can—this year so far. Take care of yourselves, and each other. What better things do you have to do?
*I mostly just enjoy seeing amusing Tweets. 240 characters isn’t enough for anything more. It plainly is not enough for any intelligent conversion, discussion, or debate.
**Should I have written “nothings” there since I was mentioning two subjects? Or is “nothing” always singular, since there is only one, ultimate, nothing, which means none of each and every possible thing, as in set theory, in which there is only and exactly one “empty set”.