My Meta-based accounts have been suspended

This is just a very brief follow-up post to note to those following that my Instagram account has been deleted due to supposed violations of “community standards”, though I’m dipped if I know how that could be.  I hardly post anything “new” to Instagram; I share other peoples’ stuff a fair amount and I comment occasionally, and I look at other accounts, but I don’t know what I might have done to violate such supposed “Standards”.  Also, my Facebook and Threads accounts are “suspended” because of the association, but I have no information on what the basis for this is.  If any of you know how to contact actual humans through meta and/or Facebook or what have you, I would be delighted to know.

If I cannot sort this out, I may need to make a new Facebook account and consider a new possible Instagram account, but though I enjoy scrolling through it, I have a bit of a bad taste in my mouth about the whole thing.  Still, that’s right now.  I may change my mind over time (see my post from this morning).

I’m feeling quite frustrated and stressed out.  It’s not quite as bad as being arrested and charged and threatened with long prison time to get me to accept a plea deal for shorter prison time, but it definitely calls up emotions and stress related to that truly horrible series of events that is still crippling my life.

I’m very tired of all this.  But I have no other regular, frequent connections except through those venues and this one, to some extent.

If anyone has any helpful information, I would welcome it.

Therefore since brevity is the soul of wit, and tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes, I will be brief–your noble blog is mad.

Hello and good morning.

[Insert some random nonsense that suits your fancy here, possibly regurgitating the idiocy of previous posts, as I usually do.  Knock yourself out.  It couldn’t be worse than anything I could do.]

TTFN

In Congress, July 4, 1776

“The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America, When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.–Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.”

Well, apparently…

…we are supposed to be working tomorrow, and so I’m not bothering to go back to the house, because it’s almost 2 hours to get there, and then 2 hours back, and the air conditioning here works.  And I could duck out, but then I would feel like I was letting everyone down, and I would feel guilty about it, and stressed out.  So I’ll stay here in the office tonight, and work tomorrow, and then by God I really should just kill myself.  There is too much crashing around in my head right now, there is too much pain, of old and new kinds, in my body, in my mind, and I can’t get hold of anything I’m supposed to be doing.  I can’t get ahold of myself.  I can’t take care of things I should take care of.  I can’t even make my follow-up appointments, or get plugged into a primary doctor or a psychiatrist or anything else.  Or, I can take tomorrow off and instead just go sit in the stupid house over the weekend and bake, and go nowhere because I have no vehicle, and I sure as hell am not going to ride my bike or walk very far in the state I’m in.  And then there’s laundry on Sunday, of course, I guess if I’m alive I have to do that.  I couldn’t stand it not being done…I even squeezed in to do the load on Tuesday night when I got back from the hospital.  Also, if I take tomorrow off, it’s too obvious that it wasn’t what was INTENDED to happen, it’s just an exception made now that I’ve expressed my dismay (by punching a wall and throwing my chair against another wall like a fucking moron) at the fact that we’re being open.  I have too many windows open and too many browser tabs open, and too many USB attachments and their drivers going, and too much fucking malware in my code, and the system and the CPU and everything else are about three generations obsolete, and the cooling fan is running and about sixty MPR (minutes per revolution).  I can smell the stench of melting plastic in my own head, and my body stinks of rotten meat (this is metaphorical, of course).  I hate myself.  I’m useless.  I’m pointless.  I’m alone because I deserve to be alone, and what I really deserve to be is gone.  I could just finish work tomorrow and then take the rest of the Percocet that they gave me, maybe throw something else on top of it.  It’s probably not enough to kill me, unfortunately, just to do damage.  I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to do, I cannot manage this anymore.  I’ve been trying, I’ve been trying to hold together for a long time, through divorce and not seeing my kids and going to prison and losing my license and chronic pain and issues related to the fact that I’m a previously undiagnosed autistic. and I’ve TRIED to be positive and to do and make positive things, write books, learn guitar and make and record songs, do this horribly annoying blog every day, but I can’t seem to make it all work, and I can’t seem to do anything, and there’s no point, anyway.  I hate it here.  But I hate the prospect of trying to move somewhere else at least as much.  I hate my situation, my living arrangements, the weather in this stupid excuse for a state, but the prospect of conceivably trying to pick up and start anew somewhere else is just overwhelming and horrifying.  I am trapped in my own mind, and there’s nothing I can do to get out, because the problem is my own mind, and my body.  I don’t know what to do.  I really don’t.  I can’t figure anything out.  It’s all just chaos and entropy, loud noises and loud people, and nothing makes any sense.  And it hurts to fucking go to the bathroom, on top of everything else.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry, everyone.  I’m sorry I’m such a miserable person.  I don’t mean to be.  I try not to be.  I try to do good in the world, especially for people I care about, but I never do get it right.

This is not a regular Thursday post.

Hello all and good morning.  I’m going to be thoroughly brief:. I’m at the house, lying down and trying to rest today, because my back and legs and feet are killing me.  There was flooding all around the area last night and at various times just walking to (and then from) the bus, I had to navigate* though regions newly dominated by water that was ankle deep and deeper.  I took many odd steps and my balance was often awkward.  Probably the air pressure and humidity and all that aren’t helping, but that’s more speculative.

Anyway, that’s what’s happening.  I’m alive, for better or worse, so you don’t need to be worried**.  Hopefully the resting will help and by tomorrow I’ll be better able to move and will write a better post.

TTFNwindstormandmanscaled


*Almost using the original meaning of that word.

**Or my condolences, as the case may be.